If you're one of the guys I invited for an interview today, I apologise if you're reading this. I hope you understand my frustration.

At first it felt good. Being on the other side of the JobStreet portal was fun for a change. It was good to get to click 'Reject', 'Keep for Reference' and 'Short-Listed' instead of checking Job Apps and hoping the status will change, know what I mean? And there were dozens of you. For once, my having a job felt like the best thing in the world.

But then I started calling up a few of you I short-listed. These are the results:

• Four of you didn't bother picking up the phone - it was about 10 o'clock, not awake?

• One of you asked me where I was calling from and when I told you Kuala Lumpur you said, "Err, but I'm in Kedah, I don't think I can come down" - then, in the name of every bus and train that has broken down on the way from the Northern Peninsular to the Federal Territory, why did you apply?

• Another one of you said, "Uh" no less than five times to me before speaking in very poor English - whilst I appreciate your efforts to try to impress me, it may be worth reminding you that "Uh" sounds FAR less appealing to a potential employer than, "No problem", "Okay", "I understand" and so on

• Another one of you had the gall to ask me to call you back - I hope your multi-million dollar deal you were trying to clinch, or the person whose lungs you were trying to resuscitate, or the suicide-jumper you were trying to talk from leaping, you know, I hope things went okay. I trust it was worth more than hearing from me again, because I'm sure I've conveniently lost your contact details after this call.

And you. Goodness, you. You were one of two hopeful ones. At least you picked up your phone, spoke politely and agreed to the interview date and time.

But an hour later, you send me an email whose grammar, coherence and lexical quality blew me away:

"Sorry tomorrow i not attent your interview because i have travel to {ABC}, now i'm working at {XYZ}. So i hope you in invite me next week."

I've got some serious advice. Ranking yourself a 5 out of 10 in Written English, whilst not entirely immodest, isn't very accurate because it implies you would PASS an examination on written communication - and I doubt it.

I'm also sorry to say that, no, i not think i in invite you to attent interview again because i have lose hope in Malaysia grads who hunt jobs.