The NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) speaker told us about one of his friends who was very successful in job interviews. This friend has an interesting pre-interview activity. He would go to a secluded place and jump up and down three times whilst mouthing the words, "Yes! Yes!! YES!!!" minutes before meeting his interviewer. He thus virtually ensures that his face, his eyes and his voice mirrors this bodily expression of excitement during the interview. All of which highlights a key tenet of NLP: Your psychology (how your mind feels and acts) and your physiology (how your body feels and acts) are inseparable.
Try this: Stand in a power position (hands at hips, chin up), take on a look like Mike Tyson about to power-punch someone's face to mush, and – are you ready? – try to feel depressed. Chances are it's real tough to do. Why? Because your body 'felt' something which was 180˚ contrary to what your mind was told to 'do'.
Or: hunch your shoulders, look down, get your eyes all droopy, put a frown on your face and try to feel happy. At best you'll feel awkward, at worst it can't be done.
Physiology and Emotion. The Siamese twins of one's state of mind. Improve either, and the other follows.
All of life, according to NLP is a matter of seeking and/or switching to positive states. Why do people smoke? To attain a positive state. Why are movies and music super-industries? Because they have the power to leave people in better states.
What used to be, "I feel great watching Obi-Wan Kenobi laser-chop Anakin Skywalker's legs off!" becomes, "The movie has created a more positive state in me, at least for the moment."
So, you want to be rich/successful/smart? Get yourself in a positive state as you do that client presentation or prepare for that exam or ask that girl/guy out. If you're not feeling very happy, doesn't matter(!), you can change your feelings by changing your physiological posture/appearance, etc. Smile more often, watch a 10-minute clip from Batman, go rock-climbing, whatever. As long as you restore your mind's positivity by getting it in tune with the excitement your body is experiencing! You don't feel enthusiastic? Act like you are, and you will feel like how you act.
Likewise, imagine you're about to have good experiences or there're gonna be successful scenarios coming your way, and your emotions and physiology will follow (see the Deepak Chopra example). Think like you are and you feel/act like you what you think.
What, then, would be the Seven Commandments a'la NLP?
1. Thou shalt ensure that thou are in a positive state at all times and thou shalt never doubt that life is a matter going from state to state
2. Thou shalt be conscious of your state at any given moment – thou shalt always be aware of the 'state of thy state'.
3. Thou shalt control your own state and thou shalt never never, under any circumstances, linger in a negative state when thou knoweth full bleedin' well it doesn't addedth a scrap of value to life!
4. Thou shalt ensure that your state is an appropriate one and at its highest level for whatever your objectives are in the immediate present e.g. if you (enough of the thous' for now, huh?) wants to make a good impression to thy boss, don't settle for a state of 'mild enthusiasm' but aim for nothing less than 'hysterical delirious excitement!!" (Tip: Take a parachuted walk out of a plane before walking into his office…)
5. Thou shalt be aware of your neighbor's state
6. Thou shalt seek to change your neighbour's state (one might say 'manipulate the guy' but that's too pejorative and I don't want to impact your mental state with negatives) to suit whatever purpose you have for him/her e.g. if you want to teach your neighbour something, make sure he's in a good state to learn; if you want to make that sale, make sure your client's in a good state to pay for something he may not need…(thou getteth the picture?)
7. Thou shalt teach thy community about being in positive states
This is surprisingly Biblical in at least some ways (I believe Nice should always precede Nasty, don't you? grin).
