My first and strongest impressions after watching The Da Vinci Code were :
1. Doesn't the TGV at I Utama ever learn? Didn't they realise their sound system sucked pond water big time?!

2. I shoulda caught X-Men III or Poseidon instead! Argghh!

Other less dominant ideas:

• Tom Hanks lacks the kind of curiousity and 'radical edge' Robert Langdon could do with a good dose of, IMO. Personally I found Hanks' Langdon too, err...plain (see how easily he was outshadowed by the appearance of Ian McKellen. I think the wild-eyedness and eccentricity of Gary Oldman, Johnny Depp, Harrison Ford (Yew Khuen's recommendation), Colin Farrell could've boosted the movie substantially.
  
• Audrey Tautou? Should've done an Amélie sequel. She looks perfect for the kind of girl who gets saved by a 100-foot ape and taken to the top of some sky-scraper. And somehow I thought Monica Belucci showed more depth in Tears of the Sun. But it could be just me.
  
• Other than the colourful code-solving/breaking graphics, nothing else in the movie is worth being "motion-pictured", especially if you've already read the book. C'mon, I've seen better action takes in a Jackie Chan movie from the 80s'. I've come across WAY better conversation and dialogue in films like A Few Good Men, Any Given Sunday, LOTR, even Star Wars. And the Passion beats the Code hands-down in a religious visceralgia contest (granted they're two different kinds of movie, but I suspect Howard was aiming for the spiritually "breath-taking" almost as much as Gibson was)
  
• Theological affronts? Strictly speaking: Not much. Well, yeah, Jesus' divinity was thrown out the window (which is something almost EVERY HOLLYWOOD MOVIE hints at or implies, so seriously: What is the big deal? Who still thinks America is a 'Christian' nation, anyway?) but then again how many people who agree that "Jesus is God" understand this statement, let alone live it?
  
  Also, I get the impression that Brown's characters are of the view that Jesus' marriage to Mary Magdalene and him having kids de facto invalidate the Church's understanding of his divinity, as if everything stood or fell with Jesus' starting a family. But maybe it should be reminded that Jesus' mission of reconciling the world to God, saving it, jump-starting a new way of being human - seriously -ain't got nuts to do with him having a wife and a baby! In fact, I would think Jesus taking a wife VALIDATES God's love for creation, for the body, for sexual love, for marital union, for family, for fatherhood etc etc. etc.! (cf. IreneQ's post on the same topic)
  
  But but but(!!):
  • We have very poor historical evidence that Jesus did marry and lots to suggest he did not, so if we're talking historical event, then Brown's got a lot more to do than rehash the Templar Knights theory
  • So why didn't Jesus marry? I'm just guessing here (so what else is new in historical studies, eh?) but :
    • given his impending death, it wouldn't have been the most responsible thing to do to leave behind a widow and fatherless child.    
    • given the power-plays inevitably involved with kings, successions and such, it wouldn't have helped to have many little Jesus' running around (the disciples were persecuted badly enough! and
    • maybe Jesus was celibate, as was the case with most Jewish prophets
      

The revisionist premise of Jesus being a dad shouldn't have created such a stir even if it did occur. As long as there's an empty tomb, the church - if it understood the message of Jesus - wouldn't NEED to do a "cover up", let alone give the dodgy Templar Knights a blank cheque of power only to conduct Mafia-style executions later on (though of course these latter events are, according to Brown's thesis, a result of the church believing that Jesus was only human and nothing more. The point is that there is an unquestioned "link" - seemingly accepted by both Brown AND his conservative Christian critics! - that Jesus' marriage entails his mere humanity).

The Priory of Sion can very well reveal a sarcophagus of Mary Magdalene this very minute, it really really shouldn't change a thing (so Mary was buried in a nice ancient coffin with images carved on it - so what?). The tomb of Jesus remains empty, the victory of God secured, the people of God hopeful.

And Ron Howard's gotta make better movies. DVC S-U-C-K-S.