This is gonna sound scripted, but this Christmas day felt like the best I've had in a seriously long time. The Creation Worship CD I received at the end of the evening topped a day of surprise (got a call from Derek in the States, good to hear your voice, bro! And yes you still gotta do better than 2-3 lines per blog! *grin*!), of simple pleasures (never had Dunkin' Donuts on Christmas morning, loved the coffee aroma too just before smiling big huge and wide at the children leading the dance in BLC's Christmas Service after which there were super-tasty lamb slices at BLC plus the Argentinian-flavored rendition of Feliz Navidad...awesome awesome awesome nuggets of experience), and of friendship (met up with many friends at BLC in the morn and at a Christmas dinner at night...blessed blessed blessed hearts) and of rekindling of a tearful love for God and His 'agenda'.

I could barely hold back the tears watching Shaohannah's Hope, a video Sivin showed halfway through his Christmas message (which subtly put forth a theology of receiving - from others, from God, and doing so with joy and absolutely no need to 'reciprocate' lest one's pride/status drops a notch). Maybe caring for a child for the past two years have changed me and Chrissie somewhat, that nowadays it's much easier to choke up at stories of children going through pain, feeling lost, in want, in need.

The existence of orphans is a sorrowful stain on our societies. The purest and most innocent are not only abandoned (itself a heart-breaking thing) but are abandoned by those with the duty to love them with everything they've got. These children miss out on God's loving arrangement for the early years, God's tender plans for us from birth till coming of age: Father, Mother, Child.

The sight of orphans - via hard work, prayer and a whole lotta grace - then regaining a home and receiving a mother and father who not only love them but believe that it is they who are the more blessed, reminded me too much of the measure and intensity of love that God had in mind all along, the level of relational depth God fought and suffered to win back, the kind of God the Bible speaks of.

When true, all-powering love hits you (in the face, through an encounter, via media, or in story), you can't help but break down. 'Emotional' doesn't begin to describe it. I think 'overwhelmed with longing' is better. Everytime the gap is bridged, every time our everyday living IN the Actual fallen state of half-hearted love catches a glimpse of the Possible full-blown colour burst of God's love, I think your soul cries through your eyes.

You will weep from outrage at the way things are, from brokenness from your contribution to the status quo, from desire for the love which makes you believe, makes you WANT to believe, that everything in life POINTS TOWARDS that kind of self-giving, that kind of affection, that kind of heart-safety, that kind of embrace, that kind of trust.

God is a God for the orphans, the lost, the unloved. This isn't easy to comprehend, much less experienced, when more than 300 days a year the world inclines us towards 'self-advancement', hedonism and indifference. Still, I'm glad that at least for this day, Christmas 2005, some of us felt this in a fresh life-manoeuvering way.

Thanks, Sivin & Co. at BLC, for making this possible.